


Leave home and feel the wind blow.

by Anonymous



Series: The whisper that calls after you in the night. [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Kissing, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26386060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: San was angry at himself, at everything and everyone."One of your eyes is of an unnatural color until you meet your soulmate" au but also "there's a print in your body where your soulmate first touches you" cause I like nonsense.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Series: The whisper that calls after you in the night. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903342
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60
Collections: Anonymous





	Leave home and feel the wind blow.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway this is Shitty but djjsjs I am so tired. If there's any mistakes I'll fix them when I wake up 
> 
> I hope this isn't too bad!

San sighed as he collapsed on the floor of the practice room. He was sweating profusely but the tiny salty drops going down his cheeks weren't precisely sweat.

Nothing was fine. Nothing felt enough.

San knew he was overworking himself, he knew that his mother looked at him with worry in her usually fond eyes but he couldn't stop. Even if he became the best performer in a far, far future, he wouldn't stop.

He lifted his heavy body off the ground. San needed to keep practicing.

He was the only one who had gone to the company knowing absolutely nothing regarding performances and idol life. He couldn't even sing decently, in his humble opinion.

San took one deep breath and began again. He needed to get it right.

He stared deeply into his own reflection, his bright orange eye and dark brown one boring holes into him.

Now, it's not like San hated himself, he just…wished he was better, stronger, prettier-

San saw his eyes rapidly filling up with new tears and he shook his head, as to remind himself that saying self loathing stuff was not nearly as important as dancing and practicing was.

When San went home three hours later, his mother was outside the house waiting for him, rubbing her hands together to gain some warmth in that cold night and he wanted to cry all over again.

He ran and told her to get inside, apologized for taking so long and made her some tea. San then took a shower and massaged his mother's feet as they watched some reality show.

San apologized again later and went to his room, feeling guilty and sad even if his mother had insisted on everything being alright.

He got into his bed thinking that once again, he just wasn't enough.

-

Okay, so…San knew it would be difficult to explain to his mother. Why he had to be rushed to the hospital and all of that.

He felt uncomfortable, because the doctor had just finished scolding him (and with good reason) and all the nurses were looking at him with pity and disapproval. San just wanted to get out of there.

“Did you remember to eat something today?”

San had to regretfully shake his head. The doctor had warned him about lying, about how San would be totally disregarding his own health if he did so. The doctor sighed.

“You're a young boy; how did you even forgot to eat?” he asked, genuinely curious of San's answer.

“Truth is…I didn't forget to eat. I wanted to practice more and felt like eating would be a waste of my time" he whispered.

San looked up a few seconds later, when the doctor didn't say anything and found that the man had an expression of astonishment on his face. Yeah, San knew he sounded crazy but he wasn't lying.

“Your mother must be on her way. You just…would you consider taking care of yourself? Eating is not a waste of time, it's a necessity of your body. Do you want to have the energy to practice more? Then eat and rest appropriately”

San nodded as he looked down to his joined hands. He wanted to cry. San really wasn't a fan of getting scolded.

“I wish the best for you, Choi San” said the doctor before leaving the room.

A few minutes later, two nurses came with some hospital food and it sucked but San realized that he was so hungry, that just the smell of the food made his mouth water.

His mother got to the hospital not twenty minutes later, scolded him for thirty minutes in front of everyone, cried for a bit as she told San how worried she had been and finally took him home after talking to the doctor.

It was the middle of the night and San could only think of practicing and what could he do to stop being a burden to everyone.

The next day, his mother forced him to stop his training. She was worried about San's health and thought he was getting a bit hard headed and stubborn, to the point where his body had to literally collapse for him to just go ahead and worry more and more about practicing.

And San was a minor, he couldn't just ignore his mother's word and do whatever he wanted.

San was seventeen, not being able to keep going with his passion and feeling like he was already dying inside.

The thought of his soulmate crossed his mind here and there. San hoped they were okay but wasn't really interested in them.

In that moment, San could only be angry.

-

Even if he had gone back to school, he didn't stop.

San got into the school's choir and when the dance club was created, he joined it, too. San wanted to keep going, keep learning.

He felt himself gaining confidence as his classmates complimented him on his dance skills. San was so worried in the past, that he had not seen the serious improvements he made with every minute of proper practice.

San was now twenty four years old and he was starting his first day as a dance teacher in a small company. San found that helping people improve and gain confidence was helping him feel better about his own life. He wanted to help those young kids get exactly where they wanted to be. San wanted them to never hate themselves as San himself had done in the past, he wanted them to be healthy and take their time, he wanted them to know that they were always enough.

And so, with the widest smile he could muster, he introduced himself to the kids. They looked nervous and intimidated and San hoped to God that they would loosen up a little bit and relax. Dancing with a stiff body was a big no-no.

Later that day, he was told that there was another teacher joining them. This guy had gone overseas to train and learn all kinds of dances. San was more than willing to walk up to him and introduce himself, maybe even become friends.

This Jeong Yunho guy sounded interesting.

San went home with a strange feeling of nervousness and excitement. He really was not good at making friends or socializing, so he hoped he would be able to put his awkwardness aside and befriend Yunho.

Before going to bed, he stared at his reflection in the bathroom. He was just done shaving when something had caught his attention.

His bright orange eye was becoming kind of brownish. Maybe his soulmate was…dead? Maybe there was something wrong?

San, a bit more worried than expected, searched it up on the internet. There wasn't much on people with the same thing as him. Many believed that the unnatural color of one's eye could reflect the soulmate's personality, others thought it was weird and creepy and some others said the unnatural eye color would start to fade and turn into the soulmate's ‘normal’ eye the closer one was to meeting them.

San had shrugged it off after giving it some thought. Maybe it was normal, maybe it wasn't.

He had more important things to focus on.

-

A week later, San woke up and walked to the bathroom, undressing on his way there. He sleepily rubbed his eyes and looked at his slightly swollen face on the mirror. He pouted, thinking that he looked pretty cute.

And wait, was that a whole _handprint_ on his hip?

San panicked and tried to clean it up with soap but it wasn't going away. When and how exactly did he get that?

He had to swallow the millions of questions he wanted an answer for and take a quick shower. San would be late if he didn't hurry up and what kind of example would he set if he was the one getting to the company late?

Even if he knew no one could see the huge handprint on his hip, he still felt nervous and self conscious the whole day. He didn't know what it meant but he was scared.

On top of that, his eye was almost completely brown. He could still tell the difference, because his 'normal' eye was darker but it still scared him.

San was already so used to see bright orange.

He went out of the practice room, shut the door and took his phone out of his pocket. He had some messages from his online friends with which he gamed every night, they were asking him to go home already. San chuckled. He distantly heard some door opening and a conversation starting but he was too focused answering texts to give that or the sign warning for slippery floor any of his attention.

Suddenly, he lost his balance, almost throwing his phone across the hallway and falling on his ass but there was a strong hand on his hip, steadying him and keeping him on his feet. San first instinct had been to hold onto the person's shoulders.

San looked up to find one light brown eye and a much darker one. It was a man and he had puppy like features, dark hair and he was probably taller than San.

His breath got stuck on his body, he felt like he was frozen in place and he could _swear_ that he was looking at his own eyes. Which was weird enough.

Five minutes passed and even if San wasn't about to fall anymore, he still held onto the man's shoulders and the man was still gripping his hip. San could see Mingi, one of the producers, staring at them weird but he couldn't even begin to care because it just finally clicked on his head.

That man was his soulmate. He had to be, otherwise, why would San feel like the man was any more special than anyone else?

“Have- have you, by any chance, been living with an orange eye your whole life up until a week ago, more or less?” whispered him. His voice was low but friendly and welcoming.

“A- a week ago it- the orange started to fade. Just- just like yours” San gulped “and this morning, a handprint appeared on my hip, just where you're touching now…”

The man took a step back, his hand leaving San's body and tugged on the neck of his shirt, letting San see a handprint on his shoulder. Just where San's hand had been resting not one second ago.

“It also appeared this morning"

San could feel his face heating up.

“Well, I think we both know what's happening now" he cleared his throat "I'm Jeong Yunho, nice to finally meet you"

“Wait, The Jeong Yunho? The cool new teacher? The one everyone, including me, has been rooting to meet?”

Yunho laughed nervously, while Mingi clacked in the background. San's blush deepened. Jesus, he was sounding like an obsessed fan or something.

San cleared his throat “uh, I'm- I'm Choi San.”

“Wait, The Choi San? Kindest heart in the world? Mingi's dreamy friend, the company's most loved teacher, Choi San?”

San's jaw dropped to hell as Mingi and Yunho laughed at his expression. The hell? He didn't know people thought that of him?

San got over the initial shock and just stared at Yunho laughing. His face scrunched up a bit and he held onto his stomach, making him look extra joyous as he laughed. Yunho was adorable.

San had never thought much of his soulmate but he would love to get to know Yunho better and build whatever kind of relationship they thought it suited them better.

San thought that even if they ended up being just friends, it would be alright.

-

San knew it could be actually pretty embarrassing to admit that he and Yunho didn't last a week as friends. San thought he could feel a weird itch on his whole body, making him squirm in his place, making him feel like there was a tension between them, like the place was too hot and everyone was looking at them.

And, Jesus, they were just eating soup, not selling drugs.

San spent ten minutes gulping down his drink while looking at the ceiling, never looking at Yunho even if he was talking animatedly about his life. God, San was so rude for not paying attention.

He just…he could feel a blush creep up his neck every time his eyes met Yunho's. San hated himself for it but there was nothing he could do.

Yunho was an attractive and charming man. He was friendly and energetic and his smile was probably the most precious thing San had seen in his life.

And, it could've been the alcohol but San suddenly wanted to cry. He felt those demons of the past coming to chase him again. Fuck, San wanted to forget all about them.

He shook his head as to shake those thoughts away. San was enough, he was pretty, he was handsome and talented and he was kind. The people around him always found a comfort zone in him and he knew that, it was one of the things that helped him get up every morning.

“I'm- I'm sorry. I think a drank way too much" he whispered, sniffling. He had interrupted Yunho and he was now staring at San with wide eyes and mouth full of food.

If San felt better, he would have laughed because of how cute Yunho looked.

Yunho swallowed his food and wiped his mouth with a tissue. He cleared his throat.

“You don't look alright…should we just go home? Uh, I mean- can I take you home?” he frowned “that didn't sound all that great either...”

San laughed this time, because Yunho couldn't be any cuter if he tried.

“You're cute..” mumbled Yunho, smiling a bit.

San blushed.

Not even five minutes later, they began to share drunk, sloppy kisses in secret, like they were two teenagers just discovering love and the waitresses were their homophobic parents.

“Oh, fuck" he cursed “this is our first date"

Yunho chuckled “we were born to find each other. With this whole soulmate thing, dates are just a formality”

San had to disagree.

“Yeah, well. What if I’m a murderer and I just happen to decide that tonight you die?”

Yunho looked up at ceiling, frowning, probably thinking “you might have a point?”

San rose an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, maybe dates are still necessary to get to know the soulmate and all"

San nodded proudly, smiling at Yunho.

“But, like…can we kiss again sometime?”

San laughed and Yunho did the same. They were relaxed and San never felt so at peace. He couldn't even begin to feel bad with the sun himself sitting next to him, making lame jokes and mocking his own slurred speech.

They then went to a bar with karaoke and sang in front of two drunk men. Yunho was actually really good at singing rock music, while San preferred to sing ballads. They sat for a while, just for the tired out of his mind DJ to decide that he wanted to play some old electronic music and both of them danced until their feet hurt so much they had to lay down on the ground.

Everything smelt like cigarettes and alcohol and old man's pee and San hesitantly held Yunho's hand.

It could've been the alcohol on his system but San could swear that Yunho was looking at him like San had been the highlight of his day, llike San was special.

San could swear that Yunho felt the same way he did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for being here.
> 
> I will probably end the series with this one? Yeah, most definitely. This started as a way to keep myself entertained but y'all made it something special. So thank you.
> 
> Take care!


End file.
